Being frames from the Sunday Comics without images by James Sherry

  1. Join The Fun

You may win a nice prize

Now, look what you’ve done

It’s too hard to explain, Elmo

I need every book you’ve got on empty nest syndrome

You said you knew what it meant and you don’t

But is this how I really look?

Wow, Slick, that’s real slick

There must be a way to stop your arms flapping around like that

  1. I Earn Every Bite

So, what does that tell you?

Laughing exercises all 32 muscles in your face

The final innings against your team’s biggest rival

Mr. Trump has so much to teach us, doesn’t he, Dad?

Rats. It’s probably that round headed poet

Uh, Bruck, Derek. Come on, guys, you’re supposed to be checking for drugs and weapons

I just caught Mr. Bumstead red-handed

If it’s called daylight savings time

Will you save some time for me?

Why are we asking him for directions?

  1. Lies Ahead

But if you can’t file with the principal, LuAnn

Who can you file with?

I want to get pretty before I go back to the hospital

And just exactly who is “we”, you little rat?

Are you sure a thousand dollars is enough?

Dog Proof? I think not

What makes you think mud is healthy?

I call them her buns of steel

From the leftovers of their meals,

Maeve has been saving scraps of lard—

Enough to hold a key’s impression,

Landscape is the greenhouse of the soul

Because he’s calling from across the street

I, however, play the course less taken

You missed the big battle Lucky Eddie. Where were you?

Not mine. You’ll make my fake tan all streaky

Tonight’s top story is my contract has been renewed

Coach, didn’t want me to tell you, but the bus is about the leave

Mr. Eyepatch’s shrink, guru, and surrogate Daddy.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could get him to talk?

OK boys, then you can cook your own supper

This isn’t the beginning. This is the ending

They enjoy a lot of the same foods as us

Let’s form protein symphony reactionary teens

Who continued sin throughout the night

The worm took me to an early bird

Cheer up, Fuzz. I’m sure Snoopy couldn’t do it the first time either

  1. Invasion Of The Belly Snatchers

I’m on the couch

I’m fluffing up the pillow

I shouldn’t have to scream about it more than once

There wasn’t any water in the pool

Hey, know any “Hootie and the Blowfish?”

With my honor intact I start my day

Do you really believe Harrison would say, “Yes, Lu Ann, I showed you that porno video on purpose to watch your shocked face. It made me laugh to see you squirm. Oh, and by the way, I’m the one who made that obscene phone call to you and put the naked doll on your desk.”

I wanted to observe them unnoticed

10-40 hike

Could I have the key to my cell

I’m taking my beauty bath

Cause I don’t act like a boy

Must’ve been the midnight express

With its 200 trillion slugpower engine,

The slugmobile races toward the gleaming city…

You’ll be all you can be when I say you’re all you can be

Is it really worth all this trouble just to walk a few blocks

If I wanted a fixer-upper, I’d keep the house I’m in

  1. Howard Stern Free Zone

Oh, no, not the silent treatment

I’m walking my pet ant

Do the hex and I’ll give you a raise


We award the plaintiff $20 million and the jury $2 million

Find six differences between these two panels

He forgot to look both ways before crossing

Bell a set

Inn bat

Tag skin

Sell a lob

It’s enough to make a man sick

They put up this sign to keep the tourists away

Unidentified fried object

According to your crystal ball, your life will change

The “Stone of Destiny,” the ancestral rock of Caledonia shall this day be ours

It’s our regular Sunday group

Here’s your list of fake acronyms for the staff meeting

Fetch the ball, Odie

You’re six. You can talk and read and sing

You can swim and count and ride a bike

So, compared to a brand-new baby you’re extra special

Golfers enjoy the game more when they feel guilty

I must say, the real satisfaction in cartooning

Comes from sharing one’s work with others

Sorry, Mate, I don’t know exactly—

Most of the time I just ignore it

Parts six to nine will appear next week

James Sherry

James Sherry is the author of numerous poetry books. His new book, Selfie: Poetry & Ecology, will be available next month.